Well, that was disappointing

One of the main reasons Dave and I decided to wait to start planning the wedding is because we don't have a budget. Well, we do have a budget (it's what I do, after all) but we don't have any money--especially not for a wedding. Dave isn't working full time, so I'm the "primary breadwinner," and I just don't earn enough to cover rent, food, student loans, and other expenses, AND save up for a wedding.

No cake for you! Image via busybeingfabulous.com. Angry red X from me.

(It is possible that my family will be helping finance the wedding, but we haven't had that conversation yet. Dave and I would like to pay for the wedding ourselves as much as possible, and without both of us working full time, that's not going to happen--so we're putting off that conversation. I'll return to this topic when we get there.)

Dave talked me into not discussing the wedding for a while; since we can't afford anything right away, it didn't make sense (to him--I'm not convinced) to pick a ceremony space and an officiant, etc. And I agreed to hold my tongue for a while. Specifically, until he did get a full time job. Once Dave got a full time job, we'd be ready to start talking and planning and making decisions.

Did I just hear a "that's crazy"? Some muttering about "this economy" and "new graduates" and maybe even a whisper about "pipe dreams"?

I know--there are lots of people un- or under-employed right now. I'm the person I know from my graduating class who has a full-time job. It could take a new graduate months or years to find employment--why would I risk putting off my wedding by that much?

Because Dave had applied for and was in the interview stage of an awesome, wonderful, perfect job that he was totally perfect for, and we were expecting him to get it.

Well, if the title of this post and the tone of the last paragraph didn't clue you in already--Dave didn't get the job.

Seriously, no cake for you. What part of that don't you understand? Get out of here!

We found out yesterday--I got home from work and he was bumming hard on the couch. Cue hugs and a trip to our new favorite burger place, and some very careful skirting of the issue. And some mild panic on my part.

I was certain Dave was going to get this job. He had three interviews and did a great job on the final assessment/assignment thing. It's exactly in the field he's looking at, right down the road from my work AND our apartment, and he's already working part-time in the same office. How could he NOT get this job? It's the perfect situation for him.

But these things happen. We're very disappointed, but it's not the end of the world. We'll still be able to make ends meet while we keep looking for another job (and maybe my fervent wishes that whoever did get the job decides not to accept it will come true). We're very lucky that I found such a great and convenient job. And we weren't going to get married for about a year anyway, so it's not like we have to put too much on hold.

I'm actually very proud of myself for not worrying about the wedding. Not talking about it for a while was actually a GREAT idea of Dave's. Although earlier it was stressing me out a little (thoughts like it takes months for a dress to get ready! MONTHS! What if our wedding day comes and I don't have a dress! may have run through my head a time or two), now I'm SO glad that we haven't made any decisions. Imagine setting a budget on his anticipated income, only to find out that that income has gone down to 0. Now, instead of worrying about cutting the guest list and cheaping out on favors, I can focus on helping Dave find somewhere else to apply.

I know people have more life-altering events happen during wedding planning, and I'm inspired by their strength. I'm not saying that this is a horrible situation, by any means--but it is disappointing.

Anyone else put off a wedding until you're more financially stable? How do you deal with unexpected pitfalls during wedding planning? Know anyone who needs to hire a writer? Any good tips for making someone reject a job offer with your mind?