Not so gratin

I have a file folder full of recipes I've torn out of old Southern Living and Cooking Light magazines. When I'm at a loss as to what to cook in the coming week (you know, when I actually remember to plan what I'm going to cook in the coming week) I'll flip through the recipes to find something Dave and I might like. This week, I pulled out this recipe from Cooking Light.

Garlicky Spinach-Sausage Gratin

Verdict: something is wrong with this recipe. I consider myself a pretty decent cook. I'm awesome at macaroni and cheese and make a great vegetarian chili, and I can follow a recipe (i.e., I can read.) Rarely do I end up with something that's inedible. This dish was okay last night, and the leftovers I brought for lunch are unpalatable.

I will admit that I didn't follow the recipe exactly. I fudged some of the cooking times--cooking onions for four minutes was taking too long and I didn't check exactly when the sauce started boiling so it might have cooked a little more or less than two minutes. I also completely skipped toasting the breadcrumb topping. But in general, I did what the recipe called for, so there has to be something wrong with the recipe because it's runny as a toddler's nose.

Read the reviews on the recipe--most of the others who have cooked this found it runny and kind of gross. I have to say I'm really disappointed. I'm always impressed by the variety of recipes in Cooking Light, and the last one I made (bacon potato leek pancakes that were eaten before I even thought about taking a picture) was really really good. Something went wrong with this recipe, because it was not so gratin.

(That's supposed to be a pun on "great" but I think it only works if you're not really sure how to pronounce "gratin.")

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In other news, I may have found my wedding dress! Yes, it's early to be thinking about dresses. So I'll spread out the love a little, and wait to talk about the dress in another post. :)

Life hack (sort of)

I'm supposed to take multivitamins but I always forgot because I was always in a rush in the morning before work. But I brought them to work with me and keep them on my desk, so that when I get bored at work (which I *never ever* do) I look around, notice my multivitamins, and take one. I'm still not taking them every day, but at least I'm taking them more than once a month. Plus, it gives me a little break from work. :)

Stress dreams

Everyone has stress dreams, right? Worrying about the first day of school or first day at a new job--maybe you dream you get there and realize you left your clothes at home. Maybe you have a presentation coming up that you're nervous about, and you dream you're totally unprepared. Or you're freaking out about meeting your significant other's family for the first time, and in your mind the family grows crocodile heads and try to eat you (no? Well that's good then). There are stressful times in everyone's life, and it makes sense that your subconscious would take whatever you're worrying about during the day and make it ten times worse at night.

So why am I having stress dreams about school?

Twice last weekend, I dreamed I was back in school (I graduated over a month ago). The first night, I dreamed I had to study for an all-important exam, but the power went out all over campus and I couldn't read my notes (also Chandler from Friends was terrified of the dark and wouldn't shut up about it, but that's not as important). The next night, I dreamed I was preparing for my Capstone presentation, but forgot about it. Then by the time I remembered and got to the presentation (which seemed to be happening in the hallway of my high school), there was no one there to watch my one-woman play (about pirates).

Stress dreams totally make sense when you're stressed about something. They're a way for your mind to cope with whatever's going on to stress you out. But I'm not stressed out. Yeah, Dave didn't get the job he wanted, but that's really not going to affect our day-to-day life. It's not really even affecting the wedding that much, since at this point we don't have a wedding--just some half-formed ideas. I have very little responsibility at work, so it's not like I have anything there to be worried about. And I've been out of school long enough that I shouldn't have any stress left over. I didn't even have school-related stress dreams when I was a student--so why do I now?

Do school stress dreams last your whole life? Or, even worse, do they get replaced with other stress dreams? Are there crocodile heads in my future?

Well, that was disappointing

One of the main reasons Dave and I decided to wait to start planning the wedding is because we don't have a budget. Well, we do have a budget (it's what I do, after all) but we don't have any money--especially not for a wedding. Dave isn't working full time, so I'm the "primary breadwinner," and I just don't earn enough to cover rent, food, student loans, and other expenses, AND save up for a wedding.

No cake for you! Image via busybeingfabulous.com. Angry red X from me.

(It is possible that my family will be helping finance the wedding, but we haven't had that conversation yet. Dave and I would like to pay for the wedding ourselves as much as possible, and without both of us working full time, that's not going to happen--so we're putting off that conversation. I'll return to this topic when we get there.)

Dave talked me into not discussing the wedding for a while; since we can't afford anything right away, it didn't make sense (to him--I'm not convinced) to pick a ceremony space and an officiant, etc. And I agreed to hold my tongue for a while. Specifically, until he did get a full time job. Once Dave got a full time job, we'd be ready to start talking and planning and making decisions.

Did I just hear a "that's crazy"? Some muttering about "this economy" and "new graduates" and maybe even a whisper about "pipe dreams"?

I know--there are lots of people un- or under-employed right now. I'm the person I know from my graduating class who has a full-time job. It could take a new graduate months or years to find employment--why would I risk putting off my wedding by that much?

Because Dave had applied for and was in the interview stage of an awesome, wonderful, perfect job that he was totally perfect for, and we were expecting him to get it.

Well, if the title of this post and the tone of the last paragraph didn't clue you in already--Dave didn't get the job.

Seriously, no cake for you. What part of that don't you understand? Get out of here!

We found out yesterday--I got home from work and he was bumming hard on the couch. Cue hugs and a trip to our new favorite burger place, and some very careful skirting of the issue. And some mild panic on my part.

I was certain Dave was going to get this job. He had three interviews and did a great job on the final assessment/assignment thing. It's exactly in the field he's looking at, right down the road from my work AND our apartment, and he's already working part-time in the same office. How could he NOT get this job? It's the perfect situation for him.

But these things happen. We're very disappointed, but it's not the end of the world. We'll still be able to make ends meet while we keep looking for another job (and maybe my fervent wishes that whoever did get the job decides not to accept it will come true). We're very lucky that I found such a great and convenient job. And we weren't going to get married for about a year anyway, so it's not like we have to put too much on hold.

I'm actually very proud of myself for not worrying about the wedding. Not talking about it for a while was actually a GREAT idea of Dave's. Although earlier it was stressing me out a little (thoughts like it takes months for a dress to get ready! MONTHS! What if our wedding day comes and I don't have a dress! may have run through my head a time or two), now I'm SO glad that we haven't made any decisions. Imagine setting a budget on his anticipated income, only to find out that that income has gone down to 0. Now, instead of worrying about cutting the guest list and cheaping out on favors, I can focus on helping Dave find somewhere else to apply.

I know people have more life-altering events happen during wedding planning, and I'm inspired by their strength. I'm not saying that this is a horrible situation, by any means--but it is disappointing.

Anyone else put off a wedding until you're more financially stable? How do you deal with unexpected pitfalls during wedding planning? Know anyone who needs to hire a writer? Any good tips for making someone reject a job offer with your mind?

I'm so hardcore

I'm hardcore Type A . I never really thought of myself as this way because it just comes so naturally. I make packing lists, I organize my bedroom, I make charts and calendars to figure out what needs to be done when. I mean I don't do this all the time--I procrastinated my way through high school and college just like everyone else. But if I'm making a big decision or planning a big trip, I'm very methodical about it. It made moving last month really kind of awful--I was so paralyzed by "what am I going to pack first, no I need that, no that's too heavy," etc. that it took me a while just to get going. But if it's something important, that I want to plan, I spend more time doing that than other important things (like, say, showering).

You see where this is going, don't you?

Wedding planning.

Yes, I'm one of those girls who has been secretly (or not-so-secretly) planning my wedding for a long time. And honestly, it's not because I'm super romantic, or because I want to feel like a princess on my wedding day, or because I want to have the fanciest, danciest, funnest wedding of anyone I know. It's because it's the most fun planning something I will ever have.

In all honesty, I haven't been planning my wedding as long as some people have by the time they get engaged. Dave and I have been talking about getting married for a few years, and I honestly didn't even think about weddings until then. But once we had that first conversation, I was off and running. I read wedding blogs, like Weddingbee and Offbeat Bride, pinned dresses, bookmarked rings, and dropped hint after hint after hint. Dave came to just accept it. I read wedding blogs and sigh over proposals, and he got used to it. Sort of.

Then we got engaged. And I, the spreadsheet-making, budget-calculating, closet-organizing fiend that I am, took that to mean "I'm ready to have this wedding you've been planning! Let's do it! Soon, before you can plan anything else!" And Dave really meant it to mean "we've been together three years and we're not going to break up! Let's celebrate with jewelry!" Which I was fine with--but I still want to plan my wedding, and Dave isn't ready for that yet.

I totally understand where he's coming from. We've been engaged about a month, but we don't both have full time jobs and we don't really know how we can pay for a wedding. And we also JUST graduated and JUST moved in together--it makes sense to take some time to get used to that before diving into DIY and dress shopping.

But I want to plan, dang it! I want to email venues and meet with photographers and have cake tastings! Dave wants to enjoy being engaged, but I want to enjoy planning a wedding.

Anyone else a planning nut (wedding or otherwise)? Where are you on the wait-to-wed vs. planplanplan! spectrum?