That's right, it's time for me to start cracking. We have a venue, we have a date--I can finally start planning this wedding in earnest!
What's that you say? You thought I was already planning a wedding? Well, yes, I was. But now it's really really REAL. Now I have a target--an end goal.Something to work toward that actually exists outside of my mind.
Speaking of the end goal--I think that's a large part of my wedding jealousy I've been experiencing. I've done some thinking, and here's what I've come up with:
I wanted to be the only one planning a wedding.
It wasn't just that I was jealous of my friend having a date and engagement pictures already (although I definitely was). I just wanted my engagement period to focus on MY engagement. If there were going to be engagement pictures on Facebook, I wanted them to be MINE. I wanted to be the one posting cryptic messages about "don't make any plans for XX/XX/2013!" I wanted other people to be excited about my wedding, and no one else's.
The problem was that I didn't HAVE a wedding at that point. I had a dress and some foggy ideas.
Now, though, I HAVE A WEDDING. A date and a location. That's all we really need. Will we have more than that? Hell yes! Flowers, vows, the whole nine yards (as long as the nine yards are cheap and practical).
I was jealous of my friend's progress because I didn't feel like I was making any. It wasn't about her, really, at all--we're friends, and I'm so excited that she's getting married, because this has been a long time coming. It was about me--I was feeling left out of my own engagement period, left behind by someone who had gotten engaged AFTER me.
Is this the end of my wedding jealousy? Probably not. I'm sure that as time passes, I'll see things that I want but just can't afford, or wish that my invitations were a little classier, or my engagement pictures were a little more unique--but that's for later. Right now, I'm just going to be happy that I have a wedding date--and that it's before my friend's. :P
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